Category: Let's talk
You're obese, overweight, chubby, chunky, rotund, huge, and, worst of all, just fat.
What is wrong with all the adjectives listed above? Ask yourself this: "Do any of them sound nice, appealing, or like compliments?"
Nope. And why is that?
Because being fat is not a good thing, and that is so because we've made it that way. These days, a girl's dream is to lose weight, to fit in that dress or that shirt, to become a model, and look skinny enough for that event or so that he will like her.
What is wrong with being fat? What is wrong with being five, ten, and maybe even fifteen pounds over weight. Being slightly overweight is not bad, ugly, or unattractive to some people. I am not anywhere near overweight myself, but I just think it's terrible that when I tell people I want to gain weight, they all go, "Oh, don't gain weight, you have a nice figure. Do you know how many girls wish they were your size?" Why do girls want to be my size? I'm not saying being slim and trim is bad, but why is the dream figure the hour glass or the coca-cola bottle?
It hurts me when other girls are called fat-asses, fat bitches, or chubby/chunky chicks. And the swear words aren't what's offensive, it's the adjectives. No, some people don't look good when they're packing the pounds, and neither does every person look good at the "healthy weight" for their height and/or age, or maybe a bit under that number. And some people just don't look good. But people have different builds, and no one takes this into account.
Nor has anyone taken into account that the food industry has made being fat horrifying. Our food is pumped up and injected with so many preservatives and additives that being "fat" and eating makes you fatter. And the result? Anorexia. Bulimia.
When you are fat, the world is against you. Jobs that involve contact with clients want thin or in shape people. It has been discussed that overweight people should be charged for riding planes because they add that extra weight. People often undermine and downgrade heavy, overweight, and "fat" people. Some parents are calling their children fat and telling them they need to lose weight, and telling them not to look like that chick standing in line over there or that guy sitting two rows ahead of you. Singers, actors, and models rub it in your face that they've lost twenty to sixty pounds and are now sexy; that they lost this much weight using this amazing plan or diet. There's all sorts of success stories about going from fat to skinny. All sorts of medications, supplements, work out plans, and equipment are advertised in the media to make you look thinner or to get you in shape.
First off, why is being fat unsuccessful or unfortunate?
Secondly, round is an adjective that describes a shape. And there's nothing wrong with being round, thick, voluptuous, or proportionate. And we should accept that.
Notice that in countries on continents like Africa and South America, being proportionate, "fat," heavy, or big is not a problem. Why? Because those countries have the opposite problem. Poverty, famine, and malnourishment are huge issues. So women of the round variety are considered to come from good families because they are healthy and well-fed.
So what is this difference between industrialized and underdeveloped countries? In many places in South America and Africa, many people cannot afford more food than is needed, or any food at all. So they can't overeat like we do. They can't resort to food when they're bored, sad, or depressed. These people cannot afford a television to sit in front of when there's nothing else better to do. They have to walk miles to get water and perhaps even find food, and miles to return home. So they can't be couch potatoes all day.
Now, I'm not saying that there aren't other countries outside of Africa and South america that aren't like them. And I'm not saying that all overweight, "fat," or proportionate people are couch potatoes or overeat, but I'm sure this is what the majority does.
I don't think that losing weight should be mandatory for everyone. If you're at risk of or already have some kind of deficiency, disorder, or condition that requires you to lose weight or get fat surgically removed, go for it. But losing weight shouldn't be everyone's goal. People shouldn't look down upon themselves and others just because they are five, ten, fifteen pounds overweight.
Now, I understand that there are people that are outrageously overweight. And I know that there are some people who weigh so much it's unhealthy and maybe even life-threatening. I totally think these are situations in which weight should be lost. And the problem with this is that people try to exercise and go on different diets. And eight times out of ten, they work, but people have commitment issues. They go on a two-week diet, then stop. They exercise everyday for a month, then stop. What's wrong with this? You do these things for a certain amount of time, then stop working out and the healthy dieting because you lost the weight you wanted to lose. So what happens? The weight stays off, right? Oh, how you wish! No way. All that weight you just lost, and then some, comes back like a dog for a belly rub.
The phrase "big is beautiful," has been outdated and put in the past. Now the new one is: "Small is sexy." I don't think this is right. I'm not telling all men and women to change their tastes and preferences, but don't be biased against those who aren't small and skinny. They're people just like the rest of us and don't deserve this discrimination and mistreatment that we give them, and try to cover up at the same time. I think the new motto should be "Any size is attractive."
What are your thoughts on this issue? Do you agree with me? Disagree? Why? What do you personally think are the prime influences on people today that make them think that fat is fugly? Do you think it's bad? Have you yourself faced discrimination or mistreatment because of your weight?
Yeah, I agree with you. It's hard to have a height/weight average, when everyone's body is so different. For example, I am a pretty big-boned guy, so reguardless of how much weight I lose, I'll probably be heavier than my so-called average weight. I also agree with your point that people who are obese, or told by their physicians to lose weight, should do so, for health reasons. I don't have any grounds for this theory, but I think maybe people who are overweight are looked down upon, because they're seen as weak in character. Maybe people see them subconsciously as overindulgent, and basically unable to restrain themselves from something. Certainly the media, and current trends have a lot of influence over this.
Ultimately though, I think that if someone wants to lose weight, they should do so as a health conscious move. Yes, looking better makes one feel better, but that should not be the primary goal.
Awesome topic.
Hmm, firstly I think the BMI *body mass index( is utter rubbish when deciding on a person]s ideal weight. It doesn]t take into account muscle build, gender, age or anything really. I]ve seen a lot of pro athletes playing pro sports who would be considered obese by that particular standard, so my first point is our reliance on BMI is utterly disproportionate and it should be completely revised really. And, newsflash, I just saw last week that Australians have overtaken the U.S. as the fattest nation in the world, not sure exactly what measures were used, but I was rather surprised I must admit.
I agree on the 5, 10 or 15 pound statement definitely, but I think a huge portion, may be a good majority, of those overweight are actually significantly overweight, 30, 40 50 pounds. The question is now that of responsibility. Becoming this fat takes complete lack of will power, inability to resist temptation and either lack of motivation, opportunity or will to lead a healthier lifestyle. That being said, modern society, especially in the U.S., makes it hard to stay fit. The most inexpensive foods are fast foods, containing huge amounts calories. Has anyone ever actually finished a cola drink you get at the movies, you could swim in that thing. There are no small portions, there medium, large, extra large, super extra large, diamond standard gravity defying large, etc. I've seen some tendency at restaurant to reduce portions instead of raising prices and I think that's a great thing. Also it's easiest to get prepackaged, prepared foods, frozen pizzas, vegetables etc. The problem with those is that in order to taste good they're overloaded with butter, suger and other hi calory things, even those marketted as healthier alternatives *low fat, for instance, may be even higher calories than thehigh-fat options)
The way cities are organized, with complete lack of public transportation and over reliance on cr ownership, means it's almost impossible to get a work out out of your daily activities (such as walking to work, to store etc), without explicitly going to work out. In Europe, for instance, the incidental work out you often get from taking the train, walking to your destination and back, is worth may be 20 minutes on the treadmill and, let's face it, those can be awfully oring.
Here smokers are discouraged by higher taxes, so is alcohol consumption, is it time to slap extra taxes on foods that can be judged unhealthy by certain standards?
I can't agree on the "any shape is beautiful", I just find largely overweight people very unattractive, I must admit. It's a personal thing and others are free to feel different, but t me it generally just means such a lack of self care, self respect and will power that it makes me dout how good or reliable that person is in other areas of his/her (well I notice almost exclusively with girls) life.
I find slihgtly chubby, may be 15 to even 20 pounds over weight actually attractive on a girl, but more than that I have issues with.
Also diseases related to overweight are significantly shortening lifes (type 2 diabetes, heart attacks etc), the increase in people's average weight has even brought down a plane, killing 20 people (Charlotte, January 2007, small plane went down, because it was too heavy, the old system of assuming a certain average weight per passenger under estimated the weight so badly it caused the plane to stall and crash shortly after takeoff).
I see nothing wrong with an overweight person charging for two seats, we all have to pay, the extra weight means less capacity for the air line to carry goods or other stuff and fewer people fit on the planes, which raises the cost for everyone involved.
I believe I saw that the ast food industry spends more money on dvertizing than is spent on public education in the U.S. in a year. It just shows us that we need to step in and may be the market forces aren't exactly the right way to go with this, other concerns, such as people's health are important.
Also my ex employer made a huge huge deal out of how much they help employees with their physical well being, turns out they provide a hot line with tips and forbid the employees to work ou during lunch time as it distracts them from work, why not give them free gym membership and make sure they work reasonable enough hours so they can go work out after work or for lunch if they so choose?
Also you have to start by taking small steps, redefine the notion of where people should be at and what is reasonable for them, from super skinny or super fat to models that more or less reflect healthy weight, or at least something one could reasonably expect to get.
Then choices have to be steered towards healthier food, more emphasis should be on providing the opportunity for people to walk places or travel on public transportation, employers and insurance companies should give direct allowance for work out programs, reward people who manage to lose and maintain less weight and downsize portions to something approaching reasonable. At restaurants, say, why give you 4 times as much as you're likely to want, give people the portion they need, offer them free or very inexpensive seconds, may be a dollar for a second plate or something, but don't make them feel like this is a reasonable sized meal when it isn't. It saves material costs too and helps with good health.
Anyways, those are just a few ideas and opinions.
-B
Of course that index is. Yeah, my parents tell me that, and I am not even that bad. Yeah, now, girls apparently have to look like Barbie apparently the most cool figure. Well, I don't think so. I knew this girl that was like that, and she went through some sad truths. Yeah, but I agree.
wildebrew, I see where you're coming from.
First off, just as you don't find people extremely overweight attractive, there are other people who don't find thin or in shape people attractive. Everyone has their own tastes and preferences.
And secondly, being fat is not the problem, the problem is our food. Our food is processed, irradiated, and so many unhealthy chemicals are added to it. The FDA and the people who handle our food from the minute it's picked or slaughtered must take fault in this too.
Portions will change things, but people have no self-restraint and no motivation to keep off the weight or to lose weight. And it so sad that people don't have a reason to do these things until something goes very wrong.
Our food is fucked up, which screws us over in turn. There's reallly no way out of this, whether you tax things or not. Work out plans and healthy diets are also being made impossible to work by the chemicals in food.
There is a lot wrong with being fat, but our society makes this a rule of thumb. Aside from the obvious health concerns, our society is incredibly judge mental, and such inflamitory comments can, perhaps, do more dammage than the physical fat itself. I've a friend who's partner at the time, told her she was fat right after sex, and it would have been a better experience if she were thin. Go figure
yeah food is to be blamed, but ultimatly we are in charge of what we put in our system so yeah. I mean whatever works for you but I just have a problem when it starts to become a health issue and people don't do anything about it.
I was all right as a child but in my teens and adult life I put on more and more weight. I just love sweet things but I need to try and cut it down.
I disagree on the food thing. Food is choice, people can make or eat thousands of different foods and whteher they're fat or not has everything (or at least 90%) to do with quantity. If it weren't someone who eats a chicken breast a day would be as fat as someone who eats 3 Wendy's burgers with milk shakes.
Making food yourself is totally simple, easy and possible, and it's not as if people have to cut down on fast food 100%, only limit it to once or twice a week.
It takes mental discipline, but you can't go blame hormones in food for all fat people's bproblems, it's simply not true.
in some cases, it is the food someone eats that makes them fat. but, in some cases it's got nothing to do with food or exercise....the fatness has to do with medication a person is on, if they are on any. if you read some medications, one of the side effects is weight gain. i kno someone who is on one such medication where that is a side effect, so she'll never be a slim size 6 or even lower. also, i don't agree with all this taking diet pills or even starving yourself, cause there is safer more constructive ways to lose weight without trying to kill yourself in the process. i don't see where this obseshon to be as thin as a model or Barbie comes from. you are what you are, and as long as your not dangerously over weight, to the point of it not being healthy, then who's business is it how much you do or don't weigh?
I love how fat people are always blamed for the way they are, the way they look, that it's laziness, a lack of self discipline and the rest. No one has thought of the many people in the world who are over weight due to either a genetic medical condition which alters their metabolism, thus making it difficult to lose weight. They didn't gain weight due to a simple lack of willpower, though some may still think so. as for some that altered metabolism simply means that the brain never tells the body, hang on you've consumed enough now. it simply keeps saying I'm still hungry. There are also those who are over weight due to medicines that they need to stay alive. Again, these people have been over looked here.
Then I don't know if this is simply a british problem, or the same in America, but if you then find due to medical research that there maybe a particular type of diet which may help with that health condition, say a diet predoninantly centered around protein fruit and vegitables, and a reduction in carbohydrates it actually turns out that eating becomes a whole lot more expensive, and there's no one who can offer you more money because you're on a low income.
Believe me, while initially there is some kind of relief discovering that it wasn't wholely your fault that you turned out obese, it doesn't change the fact that often you feel ugly, or uncomfortable in your own body. It doesn't suddenly become a whole lot easier to change that situation, yet a large percentage of wsociety still sees only the serface, simply that you're fat, and judges you for it.
just because society wants you to be one way, doesn't mean you should. i myself have had a weight problem, but, i learnt the right way to eat, and that you can only have some things, sometimes, not all the time. i mean, you can want a burgger at 11 at night, but do you have to have it? no. society thinks that a female should be this thin model of Barbie, and that is absolute bullshit. it makes me sad when you see these girls, (specially teenage girls), who you could probablly snap in half if you hug them, saying, "i'm to fat", cause really they're not, and all they're doing is killing themselves all in the name of not being fat. when is society gonna wake up and realize that having a bit of fat on your bones is not only healthy, but okay?
Blackbbird's point comes back to one of mine made earlier, namely that the healthier option often turns out to be less affordable. And I think you predominantly see poorer people with weight problems (not always, not at all, but I think it's more common, simply because of their ways and means). And, yes, people, for instance, in chemo therapy take dozes of steroids to offset the nautiating effect of the cancer drugs, and steroids lead to weight gain, also people with abnormal growth hormones who are "stopped" have to take hormones or steroids that disrupts their figure. There are a lot of ligit reasons why a certain person may be overweight or even obese, and looking beyond them is shallow, I'll be the first one to admit.
I'm a bit confused on the society's point, I think that's more of a media/glamour magazine point. I have quite a few male friends, none of them wants a super skinny girl, none of them thinks it's particularly attractive, but the super skinny people seem to pop up in the same magazines that suggest you should go through your boy friend's email and mobile phone text messages to check how faithful he or she is, or you need a $2000 dress and a certain type of makeup that Angelina uses, to look even remotely desireable, oh and take ephedrine loaded pills and eat no more than a carrot every 2 years, if you add dressing to the carrot you'll be a fat cow and need another doze of ephedrine to help burn it off, oh and a personal trainer.
Being blind is actually a bit of an asset, in a way, because you don't know right off the bat how big the person is (unless you do sighted guide, in which case you do get a clue, even if that's a horribly stereotypical cliche). And I think I would not hve a problem with an obese partner (I don't with friends, they can be any shape they want to be) if I knew she had medical reasons for it. Then again lack of self control or body chemistry that inhibits food intake could be a medical condition, this is why this is such a complex topic with no simple solution.
Rofl B! I knew their used to be a reason I read your board posts and smiled.
I completely agree with what Kev has said. I am classed as obese, luckily I carry it well. I don't eat any more of anything than I should, I am simply unable to do aerobic exercise due to my medical condition.
Do I like it? No. Am I lazy? No. Do I eat more junk than everyone I know who is not classed as fat or obese? no!
So what are people like me meant to do? What is out there for me? Nothing unless I want to utterly starve myself, and all that'll lead to is malnutrition. The weight would stay, coz I have no way of physically moving it. You can't just go and have some opperation to have your fat removed, it doesn't work like that. Ok, they would likely be able to remove, say, a main bulge, as it crudely were, but that doesn't lessen anyone's chances of getting complecations from obesity. The fat will be around your heart, your liver, your lungs, etc etc etc. So how many opperations would you have, if it was possible? How many scars would you be willing to be left with? Then people would be saying that you were unattractive coz you were scarred.
Ultimately, I try not to care what anyone else thinks of me because I know that I try my hardest. I can't ask more than that from myself, so I'll be damned if I'm going to let anyone else.
Right, I'll sign out now for another six months. lol
this is a fascinating topic and in the main i agree with what is said. i think that skinny is better is ridiculous and leads to terrible problems.
several years ago, My daughter and I attended a wedding shower. She had gone from a size 12 to a size 4. I said I was proud of her, but I'd love her if she was a size 12 again. One of the women at the shower said to me "she's a fat pig. my daughter is a size zero." Well who ha to her.
I find it interesting that the so called discovery health channel has many programs about the super obese. One of the most serious and dibilitating problems in this country is never discussed. This problem is anorexia.
Did you know that 6 to 8 million americans, depending on who you ask, are anorexic ? Do you know that 20% of the people who suffer from it will kill themselves? Were you aware that an eating disorder is an adiction like drugs, cigarettes or alcohol? Has anyone ever told you that anorexics can also die from things like hearts stopping and starvation?
I am over weight. I am working on losing it because I don't want to die early. I'm not worried about what others think. I'm also 51 years old. At the age of many of you, I would have been a disaster waiting to happen. Everyone wants acceptance and respect. The media sais that being skinny is a good way to get these things, and they are devastatingly and deadly wrong.
I was just about to tackle the fact that while we can choose the kinds of food we eat, eating the healthier organic food is more expensive. So while a bag of vegetables at the market may cost 3 or $4, a burger at McDonalds is only 1. Living a healthier lifestyle is so much more expensive than eating the processed stuff. And especially times like now when the economy is in a downturn, you can only expect more people to be living and eating less healthier.
Too, medicine always has some kind of side effects. Not everyone is effected by them. But for the people who do, medicine is given to you to cure or lessen the effect of one problem, while causing another. It's so awful!
And even if people get weight surgically removed, they can gain it all back.
I agree with Kevin. It's sad that society is so quick to judge people by their weight, when they don't even know the story behind the person. But my main point is that whether a person has a medical condition or not, being slightly overweight shouldn't be such a bad thing.
My Bf just sees fat as "cuddle material" lol, but mum doesn't think it's right that I'm fat, so she tries only to buy food which is under 5 percent fat content, yucky! I don't think there should be a fat/bmi/inside leg average Etc Etc either. That's just getting beyond obsessive. Downright dangerous in fact, and it's the kind of behaviour/OCD that can lead to you developing eating disorders, Anorexia Nervosa, bullemia, Etc Etc because of all the stick, all the bullying, so on and so forth resulting from people expecting too little or too much from you regarding food and/or drink.
Jen.
I think being fat is beautiful as long as the fat person is comfortable being that way and is able to live a normal productive life. I'm fat, and quite honestly have very few instances where I feel bad for it. I know some of it is not my fault; my CP keeping me from exercising properly; my family genetics that lean towards obesity; my two babies who've lovingly added 40 pounds to my frame. Lol. However, I love food, not out of an emotional need to satisfy myself, but simply a love for food itself and a lack of desire to quit eating when I just can't get enough. That's most definitely my fault. After this baby, I plan to look more diligently in to programs to help me lose and maintain a healthy weight. I'm happy with my body however I feel that a change is necessary if I want to stay healthy and live a long life. Just being realistic, here.
Brandy, it's good to know that there are fat or heavier people out there who love their weight and are near satisfaction with it. It's good to know that every person doesn't think being big is automatically a horrible thing.
I don't see anything wrong with being overwieght as long as you are happy and you are at a safe health level.